Who Says You Can't Have It All?

Triena Denise

Women have played double and triple roles for a long time. Like most, we grow up setting standards, goals, and working towards them, but all at a cost. We are taught to not be greedy, and that you can’t have everything you desire. For myself, as a young black woman living in an area where I am the minority, I lived in a world where I was not only the wrong shade of color, but also, the least important gender. Both of these factors forcefully pressed against me.

There is a set standard for what is right. What is good and what is bad often coincide with the standard as well. Of course this means one must give in to benefit from it. But how likely is it to be tampered with all for having your ideal lifestyle? You can have what you want …

It goes like this, it’s hard for a mother to work a full time job and tend to her family. Some say you can’t have money and happiness. Or how about the most used line in the book, “You can’t always have what you want.” 

Well I would like to COUNTER THAT OFFER. In fact, I can have EXACTLY what I want, need and think I deserve. Though it may come at a cost, it is in fact capable of having.

I once read an article on a woman in governmental position, making executive decisions in Washington, D.C.; she struggled with taking care of her family and balancing her leadership role in political office. Anne-Marie Slaughter was at a reception on behalf of President and First Lady Obama and she enclosed, “I sipped Champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries and mingled. But I could not stop thinking about my 14 year-old son.”

Slaughter argues that she realizes that the woman will never have the upper hand to a man, and in fact will ‘never have it all.’

Truthfully, I understand her argument, but do I entirely agree? No. I feel as though we are very capable, but it does require a little more hard work, dedication and your goals should be nourished.

Let’s say, the odds are against us and we can’t take what is rightfully ours. We can’t have our dream job and balance a healthy family, or whatever your dreams may be. Then why? I blame society and its effects that these barriers are perceived. Society and history have set up a ‘standard’ on what is seen as doable if you are a different color or gender. The idea of taking care of business and home seems impossible and if it is possible it’s one is definitely lacking. Even in relationships, few only witness the thought of ‘true love’ and it is usually precieved with the thoughts that there are skeletons that their significant other would never know about.

So why is it that society expects the worst?

 

I believe it is because we are too afraid to succeed! We are too afraid of what we could really be. We like making excuses and having an answer for everything like, “well there’s just not enough time in a day,” or “I knew it was too good to be true.” When in fact there is enough time and good things really do come true, if you want them to.

Society can benefit everyone if we took proper precautions on making things work. Things like closing gender gaps, treating man equal, admitting when certain rules do not work and accepting change are a few things that could make us have exactly what we want and what we deserve. So just when you feel like something isn’t possible, think again. It is, in fact, all things are possible with the proper tactics.

Anne-Marie Slaughter. Why Women Still Can’t Have It All. The Atlantic

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/